Tom's Powerful Story
On September 8, 2008, Tom while preparing to winterize the above-ground pool with his son Joseph noticed something very wrong. His youngest Joseph, who has Down syndrome, was not in sight nor was the top to the septic tank. Tom running to his 20 year old found his son had fallen in. The metal which had been covering the 2×2 top opening to the large tank had given way. The tank was some 6-7’ deep and Tom’s son (known as Josie) was struggling in the sewage. Tom called to the workman who was working on the house that day to tell Mary Ellen (Tom’s wife) to call 911. Tom knew that unless he acted quickly, his son would either die from lack of oxygen due to the toxic gases in the tank or would drown in the muck. Then he did what every father hopes they can do in that situation, he jumped in.
Once in the septic tank Tom tried to lift Josie out of the tank with the help of the workman who was pulling from above the tank. The methane and other deadly gases were strong, with almost no fresh air to breath below the opening. Tom yelled to the workman helping, “You pull and I’ll push.” With his last words he tried again to get under Joseph to lift him when he passed out from gases and sunk below, still somehow propping Joseph up.
When Tom’s wife, Mary Ellen arrived after calling 911 all she could do was to help the workman hold Joseph up with a strap under his arms, knowing that her husband, the love of her life, her partner in God’s plan lay below giving his life to save their son.
When the paramedics arrived, they immediately pulled out and began treating Joseph. They then pulled the lifeless body of Tom out but despite their attempts, God had already called Tom to Himself.
Tom had died while freely and lovingly giving up his life so that his son could live!
His Early Life
Tom served his country while achieving his dream of flying
Tom was born April 24, 1942, and raised on a family farm near Sioux Falls, South Dakota. His mother and father were devoted Catholics who raised their 4 children to love God and His church. He worked hard as a young boy and learned about farm life while doing his chores of taking care of animals and bailing hay. All the while, as he worked on the family farm, Tom had a secret love of flying.
After graduating from college, marrying his high school and college girlfriend – Mary Ellen – he found himself trying out several jobs, but none were satisfying to him. One day, after spending an entire day with a Navy recruiter, Tom found himself embarking on fulfilling his dream of flying. He left for Pensacola, Florida on 4/1/1965 to become a Navy pilot. After flight training, Tom eventually checked out in an A7 single seat, single engine, attack fighter aircraft. His squadron, VA 86, was deployed on a combat tour to the Tonkin Gulf region aboard the USS America from April to December 1968.
Tom often thought about how much he missed his new wife and family while he was deployed, mostly during Masses aboard the America. He often wrote to Mary Ellen about how much he missed her and by now, their two very young sons. Living on an aircraft carrier meant sharing very cramped quarters, but Tom grew up in a very small house. He and his brothers slept in a living room and had to put everything away before they left for school every morning.
Tom left active duty with the Navy but remained in the Navy Reserves. He was hired by United Airlines shortly afterwards. After being furloughed by United, Tom returned to active duty as an A7 instructor pilot. He did this until he was hired by Eastern Airlines and then went back into the Navy Reserves again. His flying career took Tom and his family to many different locations all over the nation while flying several different commercial and military aircraft and accumulating tens-of-thousands of flight hours. His boyhood dream came true.
The Family Grows
Tom and Mary Ellen’s desire for their sons to know and love the true Catholic faith brought them to their new home at the farm
While flying for Eastern Airlines, Tom had much more time for his family. They lived in Marietta, Georgia, and the boys – 4 boys now – went to St. Joseph Catholic School. Due to the many moves and various hardships that they overcame, Tom and Mary Ellen became much more prayerful. A few years prior while in California they had begun faithfully saying the nightly family Rosary.
It was “the 70’s” and everything was changing. The schools, even the Catholic schools, began teaching sex education. Tom and Mary Ellen took their boys out of those classes. Tom and Mary Ellen were not pleased with this type of situation for their boys. They even rented out their house and moved into another house closer to the school so that the boys could ride their bikes home instead of having to sit in the teacher’s “break room”. They wanted their boys to be taught the true Catholic faith.
After doing some research and reading about Seton School in Manassas, Virginia, they decided to move to Northern Virginia in 1981. Seton was just beginning a boarding school at the time, but Tom said: “If the boys go, we ALL go”. So off to Virginia they all went. They initially rented a home in Haymarket, then moved to another house in Manassas. Tom always wanted to go back to the “simple life on the farm”. They learned about a 27-acre property being sold near Manassas from people they had met at All Saints Catholic Church. Tom and Mary Ellen bought the property. Since Tom always wanted to have his boys nearby, they had the property subdivided so that each of the boys – now 7 of them – had sufficient land to eventually build their own home one day.
Holy hour became a weekly commitment for Tom, Mary Ellen, and their boys
One day at a Seton graduation ceremony and Mass, two of Tom’s boys were serving as altar boys. It was at that Mass that Tom met Fr. Fasano. Tom found out that Fr. Fasano was having Holy Hour at his church at St. Michael in Annandale, VA. At that time, there weren’t many churches offering Holy Hour, nor Perpetual Adoration. After talking to Fr. Fasano and hearing one of his homilies, Tom decided to begin taking his family to St. Michael’s for Mass on Sunday and the Holly Hour on Wednesday evenings. As Fr. Fasano was re-assigned to other churches and offered Holy Hours and adoration chapels, Tom and his family followed him to his new assignments. All the while, Tom made sure his family attended both Sunday Mass and weekly Holy Hour wherever in Norther Virginia that may be. First St. Michael’s in Annandale; then St. John the Beloved in McLean; then St. Catherine of Siena in Great Falls; then St. Andrew the Apostle in Clifton.
In 2001, a new church was being started. As with many Catholic Churches, it started in a High School very near Tom’s farm in Nokesville. The new church was Holy Trinity Catholic Church, and the founding paster was Fr. Francis Peffley. Tom sensed Fr. Peffley would need help, so he asked Fr. Fasano if he minded that his family begin attending Mass and helping at the new church. Fr. Fasano encouraged Tom to move forward and help Fr. Peffley and his new church as much as possible.
Brentsville District High School became the first home of Holy Trinity Catholic Church and Tom was head of the “set up” and “take down” committees at the church every Sunday. Mary Ellen helped setting up the sanctuary. Starting at 7AM Tom made sure all the chairs and other heavy furniture were set up, while Mary Ellen served as the sacristan. After the noon Mass it was then time to “tear everything down” and pack it all away. Tom was normally there every Sunday to ensure everything was stacked away neatly. With the permission of a friendly school janitor, he also built a large cabinet at the school to store all of the liturgical articles. For the next 7 years, Tom and Mary Ellen also went to adoration every week. Tom’s time with Jesus was from 2 AM to 3AM in the morning.
Today, Holy Trinity has over 4,000 registered families. Fr. Tom Vander Woude (Tom and Mary Ellen’s eldest son) was the pastor from 2011-2024. Joseph continues to serve mass, and Mary Ellen assists with the sacristan duties. As you enter the Adoration Chapel one is greeted by a bronze plaque with a picture of Joseph and Tom next to each other. God is good…
Devotion to Our Blessed Mother
Tom instituted an annual Marian procession every May around his farm
Tom not only felt his family should pray together, but he also felt the same way about his Catholic community. What better way for a Catholic community, such as the Seton School families, to be together than a day with their Blessed Mother.
On the last Sunday in May, for many years, Tom and Mary Ellen opened up their farm to a few hundred people for a day devoted to our Blessed Mother. Tom arranged speakers to talk about various miracles, apparitions, and teachings.
They would also have a Marian Procession with a statue of the Blessed Virgin
on a floral bier being carried around the perimeter of their farm. During the procession, people would be saying the Rosary and singing Marian hymns. One unique feature of this procession were the farm animals that watched and followed the many people as they processed in solemn community around the property.
After the procession, there would be a wonderful potluck meal. Then, while adults discussed various topics of the day, the children would romp and play with the farm animals or have games in the barn. There was more than one child that fell over, or swung on a rope into, a pile of hay.
This wonderful community activity was so joyful and appealing to all, that instead of having a customary private family gathering for their oldest son’s priestly ordination, they had another Marian Procession at their farm. Hundreds of people attended and celebrated, not only the Blessed Mother and her son Jesus, but also the Vander Woude family’s newly ordained diocesan priest.